Why Me Lord?

Posted By jessi on December 29, 2010

This year of 2010 is drawing to an end. I sit here and ponder “Why me Lord?” There are so many others who seem more worthy than me. I tell my friend Tina and she says, “You have something to do.” Although I realize that there is truth to what she says, it hurts when my friend Amy is in the hospital on a ventilator. She had the same diagnosis as myself but went through chemo and radiation. With remission for a season, it progressed to a brain tumor and now this. She is younger than me with young boys who have to watch her suffer during this Christmas season. I do not understand the why, but I do know the Creator. There are pieces to the larger picture that we cannot see, but we must trust that the Father knows best. If you are reading this, please pray for Amy and her family. God is no respecter of persons and He is the God who heals. I was reminded today that there are some unanswered prayers that really were answered by silence. We just do not understand that the silence was the answer.

Deep inside me I feel saddened because of some of the pain I see surrounding me, but I choose to be a candle in the midst of darkness to let the world know that there is hope. I am reminded of the Scripture that tells me to occupy until I come. This means to me that we should continue to walk, work and live day to day knowing that there is and will be a better tomorrow, in this world or the next. I can only attest to what God has done for me. I am a walking miracle. My days can be lonely being in a house by myself but then I think of what He has blessed me with. I truly want to be a blessing to whoever will listen to me. I wish to continue to shout from the top of the mountain that God is still a God of miracles. We simply must ask Him. We get so caught up into our busyness and into ‘going to the medical doctor’ that we forget to trust the true “PHYSICIAN” who is standing at the door. Do not get me wrong, I work in a hospital every day and I have physicians who prescribe treatments that do help people, but we must remember that there is a GREAT PHYSICIAN who knows all!